Ketchup V2
by Teknogeddon
Summary: Summary: The story of a redhead vampire who loves blondes, ketchup, and a good old fashion good time. Rewritten with better structure and plot points!
1. Squirrels and Other Vermin

Yes yes! It's me! Tekno-Bee and I AM rewriting Ketchup, Now with its own unique not scrambly taste and solid story. YAAAY!

Ketchup- The story of a Vampire who loves hamburgers and his strange Blonde companion.

* * *

**C**hapter **O**ne  
**S**quirrels and other **V**ermin

It was that time of year again. The time where everyone puts on their best fake smile, and merry wishes. God bless this, God bless that. God Bless my Dick. Leave me alone. In fact, this guy in particular can go to Hell.  
"Would you like to apply for a Home Depot credit card and save 15 percent on all your purchases?" The cretin said with the biggest smile I have ever seen save for the toothpaste commercials.

I choke down my initial response, something along the lines of 'Would you like to save yourself from 15% of my shoe up your ass?' and shake my head. He continues smiling, and then finishes ringing me up.

"Be careful with those Mr. Sharpe. Always wash your hands after you use it!"

What was this guy my nanny now as well? Fuck off. I waved him a half-assed goodbye and continued out into the cold, clutching the plastic handles of my bag of 'goodies'. I climbed into my pickup, watching my breath fog in the air in front of me like smoke, glancing around at the colored leaves around me, dancing on a gust of wind that ripped through my fleece coat directly to the bone.

I hate fall. Climbing into my pickup, I tossed the bundle into the passenger seat and shoved the key in the ignition. With a frustrated sputtered, the truck came to life and I drove my way home, halfway paying attention. Glancing out the window at a red light I noticed the world was startlingly still. This light was taking forever to turn, groaning mutter something along the lines of 'Come on, change already' and as if on cue it changes. Two lefts and a right, and I'm in my parking lot.

Of course, some asshole is parked in my spot, so I have to settle for what I guess is his, about seven car lengths away. Great. Parked, emergency brake. Routines routines. I almost wish something could save me from this monotony, and then I realize I could go out and do something any time I wanted... maybe later. I grab my bag and lock the doors, walking away from my truck.

Three flights of stairs, one left, and there's my door. Dropping my bag, I fish in my pockets for my keys. Groaning I realize I they are not on my person, maybe I dropped them? I hope I didn't leave them in the car. That'd surely ruin my day even further. Fidgeting with my phone in my pocket, I grab the plastic handles of my bag and tote them back down the stairs and out to my old Ford. The fading blue smiles at my reflection, and I glance in the window, sure enough. There's my keys. I hit my head on the window, and groan.

If there was ever a reason to develop a time machine, let this be one of them. I mundanely reach for the door and try and open it. At first, it's locked... but suddenly, as if triggered it pops open, unlocking itself. I will have to have this looked at. I slam the door shut after retrieving my key-ring. Trying again, the door refused to open. Maybe I didn't shut it all the way? I yanked hard on the door, and the handle, to no avail. Nothing happened... I must have shut it wrong or forgot to lock it.

I shrug into my jacket more and ignore the problem now, fisting my keys in my pocket, as I reach down to grab the bag with my other hand. I verbally express my displeasure with the three flights of stairs this time, muscles aching at the repeated process. One left, and my door is off the hinges.  
This... This was not my day. I quickly grab my phone and dial 911, but it seems to be dead, calling, but no ringing sound, no acknowledgement. I glance at the phone in hatred, the three dots after the word 'calling' are not doing their usual dot thing to symbolize it's working.

I slip through my door carefully and grab the closest thing that resembles a bat, finding an umbrella. It will do, if nothing else I'm dry when it rains as I run like a pansy through the streets. No! Be manly! MANLY.  
I creep through my apartment and glance at the extent of the damage, but find myself more confused. Glass is suspended in mid air as if hung on a billion small strings, and there's a tall redheaded figure standing in the center of one, fist extended mid punch, his face contorted in rage, lips curled back into a snarl to reveal some really sharp canines.

I blink and it all stops floating, the glass crashes into the opposing wall with a loud noise and I instinctively cover my eyes. I hear my phone dialing, and it's like all the noise and motion of the world suddenly hits me, knocking me breathless. The breathlessness could also be attributed to the extremely tall, impossibly heavy grown man knocking me to the floor with inhumane speed, pressing me to the ground, and then... gone.

Nothing was there. All my windows were fixed, the door was locked and in place. What the hell just happened. Did I just like... hallucinate? Sitting up sharply I look myself over, I'm covered in glass dust, it falling to the ground with subtle cling noises. I glance at my phone... where is my phone? I hear a voice and look over to the left, darting behind a potted plant for safety with a mad scramble.

I hear the person pause, and almost feel the stare in my direction. I close my eyes, wishing for them to go away, and hear them say "Fucking rats, I'll have to pick up something after lunch."

What. I hear the jingle of keys... displeasure noises at the glass on the floor, and then the door open... close... and lock.

What... What just happened? I glance at the clock, and my fears are somehow realized. I thread my fingers into my hair, gripping them at the roots and staring at the corner beside me. This is when I left to make my AA meeting, and then I went... oh god. I went to get Rat Poison... from Home Depot. OH GOD. I had just seen... myself... in the... what.

Nono. I'm exaggerating. There is a logical reason and explanation for this. One. I must be dreaming. Two. Shit like this only happens in fairytales and bad fanfiction. Three. Maybe movies. This doesn't happen in real life.

I shake my head and take deep breaths. What to do. I don't want to run into ... myself...? Me? Past me? Fuck what do. I. do... I find myself sitting on my couch, in my apartment, watching the show I was upset I'd miss due to my meeting. I keep a close eye on the clock. My meeting was one hour long, and then I would be at Home Depot for... fuck I couldn't remember... I best hide in that time period.

Then it occurred to me, that if this wasn't a dream, that guy would break in after I went back to get my keys. A chill ran down my spine... those eyes. My memory flicked back to that piercing, feline green. How did he get his hair to stand like that? Probably a gel made from nightmares and children's tears. I focused on my program, it would end about five minutes after AA, so it was perfect. Something about giraffes.

I learned more about giraffes than I ever wished to know. They're gay. Did you know that? Giraffes are gay, and they're extremely promiscuous. This day gets better and better! Why did I want to watch this again? I turn off the television as the credits roll and sit on my couch, staring out my four glass windows. There were rain clouds in the distance. I sighed and began to shake, I was afraid. Desperately I hoped this was a dream, but... I knew. I just knew, by the rate of this day, I was not going to get lucky.

Sitting in silence I waited, eventually I heard it. The soft cursing on the other side of the door, and then plastic bags rustling. Quickly and quietly I ducked into the bathroom, hiding behind the door and peeking through the door jam, if it came down to it, I could close and lock the door quickly. I heard footsteps descend the stairs, and then waited.

And that's when it happened. In the blink of an eye, my door flew off the hinges with a black smoky explosion. A figure stood in the center of my living room, tall, redheaded, and dangerous. He stared out my window, as if fixated on something, and as if things couldn't get crazier, something... SOMETHING appeared in the room with him. It was solid black, as if bathed in shadows, with teeth and yellow eyes. The redhead caught it as it jumped in and threw it to the ground, stepping on it it's skull with a heavy cracking noise before it exploded into smoke. Another one followed it, doing battle in my living room.

Meanwhile I was probably just reaching my truck.

The redhead fought against the strange shadow like creatures with relative ease, but if you watched you could see his stamina was not endless. From my hiding spot, I watched as sweat beaded on his forehead and his stature slackened by the fifth shadow creature in my room. I watched, eyes wide and unable to scream as one floated outside my window, more resembling a bird than the others. It flew for a dive bomb into the room, and met with the redhead's fist, evaporating instantly into smoke.

Looking over, I could see myself, umbrella in hand, quivering like a leaf. The figure turned, looked at the past me, and lunged, teeth bared and a fist ready to strike. I watched helpless as I saw myself get pinned to the ground, and after a few weak pushes against the figure, I disappeared.

The redhead looked confused, whipping his head around wildly like an animal. He threaded his hands into his hair and stared at the ground, licking his lips for a split second before regaining his composure and standing. He closed his eyes and I covered my mouth, my entire body shaking with fear.

He vanished, the door slammed next to me and I felt a hand clamp over my own mouth, my head forced to the right, and then... pain pooling around my left. The world turned black.

* * *

Waking up I found myself on a glass covered couch, the only upright thing left in the room, a small throw had been tossed over me and there was a loud banging noise behind my head. Turning so I could look over at the source, my eyes widened in horror, the redhead guy was slamming my door back into place, few screws loose in his teeth, still sharp. I let out a squeak of fear, he turned... and I ran.

I vaguely heard the words "No! Wait!" as I slammed into my bathroom and locked the door.

Curled up in my bathtub I groped around for something to hide or protect myself with. I settled with closing the shower curtain and looking up at the small vent above me. I had to get out of here! Climbing onto the faucet, I tried to reach it. Too short. Dammit. Grabbing my plunger I tried to poke at it, and just bounced off the glossy white painted metal like a fly. Cursing, I frantically huddled back into my corner of the bathroom. There was a knock on the door.

"I'm not going to hurt you. Please open the door."

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" I screeched, similar to that of a banshee I'm sure. There wasn't a way in hell I was letting this fucker in.

I heard a sigh and the light, masculine tone continue. "Okay, I'm just going back to fixing the door..."

His tone drifted as if he was walking away. I couldn't stay in the bathroom... could I? Something crunched under my feet and I noticed the blood starting to pool out of them. Shit the glass... I couldn't feel pain in them, numb from shock... I glanced around, looking for the tweezers, antiseptic, and bandage... found only the tweezers. The rest was missing, and after catching my own reflection I understood why. There was a bandage around my neck. With trembling fingers I began to pry it off my skin, revealing two, almost dime sized red and inflamed puncture wounds.

Those looked like... Oh God. I began to panic again, breath laboring heavily, closing my eyes and hoping this was a dream. Wake up! WAKEUP! Nothing happened. No mysterious jump into the past, not even gratifying waking up. I dropped to the ground, my feet finally starting to ache... I had to get out of here.

After getting my breathing under control, I peered out the door. The redhead was watching the rerun of the giraffe documentary. He let out a loud "UHHH..." in disgust. Carefully, oh so carefully, I slipped out of the door and shimmied towards the kitchen. I sneaked into the room and reached behind me, watching the red spikes on the couch and groped behind me for a large butcher knife.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," a voice from the couch resonated. "I'd rather this be a painless encounter for both of us."

Bullshit. I gripped the knife with every ounce of strength I had, licking my lips, and trembling like a leaf. The man sighed and stood up, walking over to the kitchen. I began to scramble as he approached, placing myself as far away from him as I could. He held up his hands and set them on the island in front of me, giving me a nod.

"I'm not here to hurt you," he said, head down eyeing me carefully.

"Then get out of my HOUSE!" I was yelling by the end of the statement, not too sure why.

He blinked twice, eyes gentle and his hands very still on the table. "You could hurt me a lot more than I could hurt you. Just please, put the knife down."

"No! Get the fuck OUT. OF. MY HOUSE."

"It's an apartment, not a house. More of a condo actually," he said calmly, like I was some kind of wild animal that was overreacting.

"WHO CARES WHAT IT IS, GET OUT IT'S MINE."

He reached out to me delicately, "Is it my nature that's scaring you? I assure you I don't normally..." he sighed. "I was weak, I'm sorry."

I didn't give two shits if he was sorry. This motherfucker had to GO. "Get out..."

"I'll stay in your bathroom, call the authorities if you wish, but I need into your fridge before I can do that."

"No I want you OUT of my house, NOT in my bathroom. NOT here!" I screeched, mentally noting my voice broke in fear.

He shook his head, "I would if I could, just to please you, but I CAN'T." His shoulders pressed in and rose to emphasize the gravity of his words. He seemed serious, fixating a look of mild desperation on me, lips parted just slightly to show the tips of his fangs.

Why the fuck not? Go leech someone else! I shook with fear, taking in sharp raspy breaths. I opened my mouth to reply, a bead of cold sweat sliding down my forehead. My knees felt weak, and I could feel my feet were getting progressively warmer and crunchier with the glass and blood. I swallowed my words, holding the knife out in front of me like some kind of lifeline, if I let go, I died.

I'd read books, terrible books albeit, of friendly vampires, but the legends must have came from something, my neck was proof! This was terrible! Still I stood firm, trembling and shaking like a baby bird in front of a cat. Something about this person, or rather vampire, oozed predator and threat. He also oozed a strangely charismatic undertone that made me want to believe him. Those green eyes, sharp and determined were fixated on me, and not letting up.

"At least go sit on the couch while I clean up the mess and order some glass for the windows..." he pleaded gently. "You couldn't open the door if you wanted to, it'll fall off the hinges." He stepped closer, and I stepped away, keeping distance from him. He used this to his advantage, moving slowly to corral me into the living room, and fall backwards onto the couch. "Good, now stay." I curled up on the couch, knees to my chest, toes curled... where were my shoes? I know I had shoes on before all this mess."

He flipped my coffee table back over, sitting some bandages, the tweezers, antiseptic, and hydrogen peroxide as well as some gauze on the table before walking off again. I found myself petrified as I watched him pace around the room, fixing various things as the cold wind started to into the apartment. I reached down and grabbed the throw I had earlier thrown to the side, swaddling myself and holding firmly to the knife in my hand. The vampire smirked in amusement, but seemed pleased with the little progress he thought he had made. I eyed the door, and as he said, it was barely up, the screwing job he'd done was subpar at best.

He plucked the plastic bag, now partially shredded, with rat poison in it and sat it off to the side beside the door. For the second time I got a good look at him, only this time in motion. He was wearing a floor length trench coat, black pants, black boots. It all seemed skin tight on his thin frame, impossibly spiky red hair. I was sticking to the gel made of nightmares and tears theory. It only made sense. I wanted to run, I needed to escape... but how?

I watched as he pulled out a thin black flip phone... what. A flip phone? Seriously? He punched in a few numbers and greeted the one on the other end, "Ciiiiiiiiiiiiiid, my old buddy my pal my friend~" He said in a mocking singsong tone, grabbing a broom from the closet after looking in three wrong places. He winced slightly, and I could hear some of the screaming. "Chill dude, I found him. He's unharmed. Just some scratches... "

The fuck was this dude talking about.

"Nono, I just need some glass repair... and uhm... a door. No a neutralizer won't be necessary. Maybe just someone less... intimidating than me." There was a few 'uh huh's and 'hms' "Right. You know where I am."

My eyes darted to the door. Once it was fixed, I was so out of here. The vampire paused in front of me, "They'll be here soon, until then stay warm... fix yourself up since you wont appreciate me touching you anymore than I have already."

I clapped my free hand over my neck, and eyed the door.

"Noooo that's a bad idea. The bad things will get you." What was I? Seven? I glared at this change in tone. "If you want to be treated like an civilized adult, act like one."

He walked away, the insut burned me slightly. I civilized adult would be out of this fucking place. Jumping out that window did- the WINDOW. I stared at the open spaces like they were god. I was only three stories up,... the fire escape... fuck what window did it come from again? My bedroom. It was hooked up to my bedroom... I cautiously sat the knife beside me and began working on my feet. The redhead dropped off a bowl of water and a damp cloth after a few seconds of me plucking glass shards out from my feet, they throbbed in response and bled pretty badly from the injuries. I started to get light headed.

"You can ask me for help at any time." I finally noticed most of my living room was put back together, the redhead watching me from a recliner across the table. He didn't seem entranced at the blood like I expected.

"What? Want a taste you bloodsucker?" I hissed.

He chuckled in response, "No way. Human blood is disgusting. No offense."

Offense taken. Huffing, I went back to my big toe, it was almost completely red, irritated from the shards rubbing against it but wasn't as badly damaged as I had thought.

"Now if anyone asks, a squirrel bit you. Understand."

I gave him the mother of all dirty looks.

"Kid I hate human blood, but I was weak. Coulda been another vampire, or even a wolf, but I would have bitten them all the same. I needed something to survive."

My dirty look continued as I washed my foot off, my vision blurring slightly with pain and the blood loss as I pressed upon a cut in my arch.

"It works like this. I hate blood. I don't drink blood. Not even from packs or whatever you humans have now days to store it. I hate that shit. I have a truly vegan diet on tomato-salt juice." What? "Yanno... Ketchup?" He continued. "Love the stuff. I don't know why, but it's all I need to sustain myself."

I stared at him like he was speaking Urdu, pressing down on this cut. It was not stopping... it needed to... stop. I rubbed my forehead.

"Let me help you. Please."

"NO." I said firmly. "No. Don't you fucking touch me, you goddamn monster."

He seemed hurt by this. I went back to focusing on my feet, I wasn't even through one and I was woozy. I fixed up a bandage and pressed it to the cut, using gauze to firmly tape it down. Running to the window was going to be rough with the splitting pain sinking in. "Come on kid, the human body has too many blood vessels in feet... you're going to pass out," he whined.

"No." I said again. "Touch me and I fucking stab you."

"It wont kill me," he said softly. "Just inconvenience. And then I may need more ketchup."

I swapped feet, the motion causing my head to spin. I wasn't going to stay away through this. I rubbed my neck and winced in pain as my fingers touched the bite marks. The green eyes surveyed me apologetically, and then flicked to the door.

"AXEL. Axel what kind of fuckery have you done to the door?" He grit his teeth in response. "Open it!"

He sauntered over to the door, "I kinda... can't? It'll fall off."

"Oh for fucks sakes." Hissed a definitively female voice. I watched, blurred as a woman in white appeared in front of what would be my windows, she looked the place over and landed inside my apartment easily. "What did you DO?"

Axel hurried over to her, "I didn't do it! They did!"

The woman looked at me, her... wings, curled around her back.  
Wait what... wings?

I blinked again, staring at her. She had fiery red hair, similar to Axel's but soft blue eyes and giant white wings curled behind her, dangling partially out of my window, the flight feathers were tipped in pink and two flips of her hair stood up on her head. "Is this the target?"

"Yes, though he's not been very cooperative thus far."

She hummed in response and approached slightly, her wings dissolving into a miraculous light. She wore a cute, denim pink dress with many pockets and some large tennis shoes with the laces up her ankle. The only thing that made her unusual is the fact she had no ears... the tufts of her bangs fell as her wings completely disappeared. Axel had guessed right as far as 'less intimidating' looking went. She looked delicate, yet strong and sturdy. The type of woman you could bend over and- nono this was not the time to be thinking about this.

I looked away, focusing on my throbbing feet again. Before I realized it, she had cupped my hand in hers, causing me to draw away with a startled cry. I withdrew so quickly I flipped over the back of the couch and crawled away, putting my back to the wall. She seemed displeased with this. "Please, let us help you. We mean you no harm," she shook her head, stepping onto the couch, onto the back, and then hopping down from it gracefully.

I didn't know what it was, but those eyes. The big, gleaming sapphire color calmed me. I felt my eyes become heavy, and as if in a trance, I felt all my fear, my anger just vanish... She approached quietly and calmly, and I could almost see the light refracting off invisible wings behind her, haloing her beautiful frame. "Shhh... just relax," she cooed, dropping to the ground with me and crawling over my frame. It was like... music. That cool chill you feel when you feel your breath synchronize with a song and you just are whole... her voice had that effect when her eyes met yours.

Axel vanished behind her, going towards my door but I was entranced with her, and couldn't look away from those eyes. "Relax sweet child, we will not harm you." I felt her velvet soft fingers touch my face and her breath on my lips, all the pain vanished and only she existed for this moment, I blinked slowly as she soothed me, again... again... and then faded off into a soft oblivion.

* * *

A/N Hope you all enjoyed chapter 1 of Ketchup v2.0 4k words seemed like a good stopping point for now. :) Let me know what you all thought please!  
I'm going to go doodle that scene with Kairi if I can get it out of my head, the angle is going to be a hard one.


	2. Various Undergarments

A/N: Second Chapter second day! Don't get used to this, I have a couple days off. But I will at least have one up a week until the story is over. ^^

Still working on that picture. Haha it sucks.

* * *

**C**hapter **T**wo

**V**arious **U**ndergarments

I could hear voices before I could open my eyes. The plushness of my bed greeted me, warm and delightful to my aching body. Why did I hurt so much? My throat was dry and I just felt heavy. Sitting up with a low groan, I tried to focus on the voices. The winged woman and Axel were apparently at a stalemate. Maybe I could slip out while they were arguing. I groped for my nightstand, wrapping my fingers around the edge and pulling myself slowly out of the bed. As soon as my feet hit the floor, I felt a splitting pain through my entire body. I was fully aware of their damage now, no more adrenaline surging through my veins. It felt like stepping on wet carpet, and glancing down my vision blurred, focusing in and out on of the bloody wraps.

Leaning back onto my mattress I tried to assess my odds. If I managed to escape, I wouldn't make it far. I'd have to go to an apartment below or above me and call for help. That was the only thing I could manage to do. I reached out to the window, trying desperately to stagger over to it, but instead collapsed with a dull thud. The door opened immediately, revealing a redhead and a concerned smaller one, she slipped through and crouched to my side.

"Don't touch me you freaks," I hissed, dully pulling myself away from her to curl up in a corner. I watched her face contort in worry and she still extended a hand out to me, I drew away from it as much as I could, plastering myself to the wall and turning my head away. Still, I felt her velvety touch on my chin, cupping my hidden cheek and delicately, yet forcibly making me face her.

"We are here to help you," she said calmly, Axel standing in her shadow. "My name is Kairi Harrison. This is Axel Smith... can we inquire to your name?"

"You can inquire the footprint on your ass when I kick you fucks out of my house," I snared, fixating my most stubborn and hateful look upon them.

She clicked her tongue, eyelashes fluttering as she looked away as if to find the answer on the floor for my stubborn behavior. "Well, like it or not we'll be around for a while. We have to make sure you're safe and get you in control of yourself."

I was fine the way I was. "Fuck off," I snarled, groping for something on my nightstand.

She cocked her head softly, "I'd rather not have to influence you, but I will if I must to protect you."

"Influence this," I chucked the cup of water at my bedside at her and darted for the window, in the blink of an eye Axel had my hands behind my back and was shoving my face into the bed.

"Look kid, we don't like this any more than you," he said harshly. "You think I'd like to spend my eternity babysitting a little shit like you? No. I'd much rather be fucking bitches and starting fights." Kairi blanched at this. "Do as we say, and this is quick and easy. Don't? and this gets messy."

I struggled but my body have out. "Just let me go... I-I won't tell a soul. Please... Just let me go..." my voice was breaking, my resolve, shattered. I started to cry like a bitch.

I heard the resonating sound of a slap, and Axel backed away from me. Kairi's soft hands rested on my shoulders as I sank into hysteria. "Who are you people, what do you want with me..."

"Your safety." She whispers. "Please let us help you..."

"WHY!?" I scream. "WHY DO I NEED YOUR HELP? HOW IS BITING ME, FUCKING UP MY CONDO, AND RUINING MY NIGHTMARES HELP!?" I scream, voice harsh and throat tight, squeaking half of it in high pitched whines.

She rubbed my back softly, letting me sob into the blankets. I didn't understand, why was I being held hostage. Axel stood in the background looking ashamed. "Shhh... if you'd let us explain, we will... but you have to stop running from us..."

I nod meekly, too terrified to disagree. There was some weird bird creature touching me and a vampire behind me. She continued to console me until my erratic sobbing stopped. What was WRONG with me? Slowly she coaxed me to my feet and to sit back on the bed, making myself comfortable. Tucking me in like a child, she and Axel lingered at the end of the bed, watching me. Axel took a couple steps back, leaning his back against the wall and watching me like a cat watches a mouse through half lidded eyes. Kairi sat herself at the foot of my bed, calm in comparison.

I sniffled, feeling more like a frightened child than my age, eyes red and aching like the rest of my body. Clutching the sheets in my hands, I stared at them. By now, they could have killed me if they wanted... why hadn't they? I nodded, "I'm okay... I'm okay..." I muttered, staring at my hands again, repeating it to myself. Axel's gaze left me, and fixated out the window.

"Can I ask your name now?" Kairi said, with a gentle smile.

I nodded, "Roxas... Roxas Sharpe."

She smiled delightedly, "Alright... Roxas. Has anything unusual happened the past few days?"

I stared at her with a bored expression.

"Besides us. Doors unlocking magically, finding lost objects... lights never changing, and then changing really fast?"

I blinked at her, surprised. She seemed to radiate calmness, and just being in her presence was making me calmer as a result.

"You are very special Roxas. A power thought lost to all of human and nonhuman kind that can change the world. As a result of your power suddenly becoming power active, more nonhumans have came to notice it. We are seeking you out in order to help you control this power to benefit the world, rather than have it stolen from you and hurt."

"S-stolen...? Powers? What are you talking about. So what if Red lights turn green suddenly, doors unlocked, and I saw the past version of me and froze time... this is all nonsense! I'm what? A superhero?"

"Axel he jumped time? Why didn't you tell me that crucial detail."

The redhead shrugged, "I didn't know. I know he jumped places, I didn't realized he jumped time."

She huffed at him, annoyed. "You didn't mention THAT either."

He rolled his eyes, fixating on something further away. She sighed, a calm silence growing over the three of us. "S-so... what are you...?" I felt myself asking... "What am I?"

"You Roxas, are what we call a reality bender. There's no exact term for what you can do or are, but basically, you can will things to be. You can bend all of time and space to your will. Jumping Time, breathing underwater, flying. You're like... oh what's the name from the comic... with the infinity gauntlet. Thanos I believe, I think he's the one I'm thinking of."

Roxas's inner nerd squealed that such an attractive woman knew DC comic books.

"I," she said, placing a hand on her chest, "Am a Muse. I am a creature from Greek mythology. There are only Nine of us. Though my Human name is Kairi Harrison, my real name is 'Erato'. There's another one of the nine muses with us as well, Clio. Though her human name is Namine Moore."

I blinked in response. A deity was sitting on my bedside.

"Axel here, though I'm sure you are aware of what he is... is a vampire."

I swallowed, looking at him.

"Though a very unique one, we haven't pinpointed what makes him so abnormal as of yet."

Axel grunted and continued looking away, being gruff and unsocial now that Kairi was here compared to earlier.

"Axel?" He fixated those startling green eyes on Kairi. "Can you get Roxas a glass of water? I'm sure he'll feel better."

The redheads exchanged nods and Axel vanished into a puff of black smoke. I jumped slightly at this. Kairi held out a hand signalling for me to stop. The redhead reappeared with a glass of water at the foot of the bed, his coat and hair tousling slightly as if he had been hit by an upburst of wind. He offered the cup of water to Kairi and then she to me. Shakily I took the glass, almost pouring on myself in fear.

I fixated on Kairi's gentle eyes and once again, felt a semblance of peace. Sighing, I took a drink of water. Instantly I felt this warm surge through my body, the ache starting to ebb away. I took another longer drink, feeling the feeling pulsate through my body and then heaviness vanished in seconds, I could feel my feet aching numb out and my eyes no longer ached from the crying. I blinked a few times and rubbed them. Kairi took the glass from my fingers easily, "Feeling better?"

"Yeah, a lot..." I muttered. "What kind of water was that?"

"You really don't want to know," Axel muttered darkly.

I looked at the glass in Kairi's hand again, suddenly worried. She waved it off, "Ignore him. What matters is you feel better. Rest up. We'll be here to guard you until we get your condo fixed to avoid suspicion. I suggest you pack some changes of clothes, because we will be leaving to a more secluded place until you learn how to fight back. For now, this place is safe, but not for long."

I nodded nervously and shuffled into my blankets. "What about work? My family?"

"Roxas, you don't have either of those," she said sadly. "Your kind is not born, just comes to be. Anything you believe to be real, is. And thus, you have a family who in reality is not related to you at all. They existed long before you did. Your power is not without limits, but it can do amazing things... you do have a job, but no one will notice if you vanish from it."

What...? I... made them? "I- I... what?"

She shook her head. "Don't worry about it, you'll be alright. Just remember there are some things even your power cannot do."

I sat there in shock as she shut the door. Everyone I knew was... a lie? My entire life? My childhood? Did I have a childhood? I looked around my room. My condo? Everything was... a lie... What is it really then...? My television. My couch... everything is... fake... I could hear Axel and Kairi talking outside the door. Somehow, I could hear every word. "He's taking it... well."

Axel grunted in response, "Because you have tits."

She huffed in response, "You're just scary! Maybe you shouldn't have bitten him."

He let a deep, low growl rip from his throat, "I already told you. I couldn't help myself. He could have been a shadow and I still would have bitten him."

I heard her sigh in frustration. "We need to stay calm, if we panic... he's going to recoil twice as hard. And if that happens... god knows what will happen."

Axel hummed.

"Stop that! You can't smoke in here."

He groaned. I stopped listening to them bicker and looked around he room. If I will something to be... it will be. I wondered what the limits were. If I could bend time and space, what could I do? Could I walk on the moon? She said I could breathe underwater... could I make someone combust?

As if on cue, a plant at my window exploded. I mean... exploded. Pieces and dirt went flying everywhere. Oh crap that was my ficus! Those fuckers are insane to grow. My head suddenly felt heavy and the world blurred. Oh man... was this why I was always so tired...? Before I could really understand what had just happened, and hear the door opening to a startled Kairi, the world blacked out on me again.

* * *

I woke up to hear a television. The redheads were watching a football game, betting on opposite teams. Axel bet one of his fangs, and Kairi one of her feathers. I didn't understand. Sitting up, I rubbed my eyes groggily. I realized I was wearing new clothes, my boxers were on backwards, and my shirt was inside out. My guess is someone was doing it with their eyes closed... Kairi probably. I stood up carefully, realizing quickly my feet were miraculously healed. Then again today was a miraculous day. I knelt down and unwrapped my good as new feet and toes.

I wiggled them in my cream carpet, before taking cautious steps, discarding the wrappings in a nearby trash bin. I quickly corrected my clothing errors, putting on a pair of sweat pants over the boxers. I peeked out the door curiously, watching the two redheads rally over the game. I watched, entranced at the fact Kairi was seated on the back of the couch, her long delicate wings sprawled across the floor. My glass had been replaced, the entire room was spotless, however the locks on my door had been modified, sporting 3 new ones, including a combination keypad. I blinked in confusion at this and looked back to the Muse and Vampire on my couch.

I padded back to my kitchen and fixed myself a glass of water, drinking it readily. It didn't have the same healing affect as the water earlier, and once again I wondered what made it special. Opening my fridge, I pulled out a beer and popped the cap off, glancing at the fridge door to see my ketchup had gone missing. Frowning I walked back into the living room and found myself a nice open place to sit and watch the redheads. I was more powerful than them... I suddenly realized this. I was more powerful than both of them, and far more valuable.

Meaning I was the biggest dick in the room. Alpha male. Top Dog.  
Fucking. Sweet.

I sipped on my beer, marveling at the way Kairi's breasts bounced as she did. She was very attractive. Supple lips, toned legs, slender figure... oh man. What I'd do to that ass. I shook myself out of it, this was no time to be thinking about women, no matter how bouncy and attractive they are. Axel caught my attention, sharp narrow features, topped off with nightmare gelled hair, with that scowl from earlier on his face, he wasn't very attractive. Now that he was smiling, delighted at the game, he was actually pretty decent, fangs glistening behind his lips. I fixated on his face for a while, absorbing the catlike eyes and few strands of loose hair that escaped his spikes and fell into his face. He must have noticed my staring, glancing at me, then his smile disappeared. "Roxas?"

Kairi stopped giggling at the latest touchdown and swiveled to me sharply, "Hey there! Feeling better?"

I took a long swig from my beer as a response. They exchanged a chuckle with each other. "You humans have the best sports ever! I wish we nonhumans could play~" she chirped, throwing her hands in the air with delight.

"Why can't you?" I asked.

"Really Roxas? No one would notice a person as tiny as Axel having more force than superman in a punch? The fact he regenerates immediately from any broken bone? It's too risky!" She waved her hands frantically.

Axel glared at her, raising an eyebrow at the tiny comment. "I assure you I am not tiny."

"Geeze Axel, really?" she crossed her arms in front of her, the fabulous pair of breasts she had, shielded from his gaze, and mine coincidentally.

"Do I need to prove it?" He asked, grinning like the devil himself.

She frowned, "ugh. No."

He snapped. "Damn. Maybe next time. One of these days Kai. One of these da-ays," he drawled the word like a purr.

Shoving his head away, she added "In your dreams maybe."

I watched the exchange between them. They seemed so... normal. If it wasn't for the fangs and the pair of wings from her back, you would think they were old friends or classmates. I yawned, leaning back in the chair. "Could I will this day not to happen...?"

Kairi's tone changed to serious, "Despite the length of your power, you can only bend reality, not completely change it. Destiny is out of your reach, as is Death and Life, depending on the cause."

I sighed heavily, taking another swig of beer. Damn. There goes that idea. Kairi looked startled, directing her attention at the coffee table, as it was shaking slightly. She reached up and played with a strand of her hair, coiling it around her delicate fingers. Axel reached down and picked up his bottle of ketchup, complete with a bendy straw... wait what.

The table stopped shaking and he sat it back down. "Is that... Ketchup?"

Axel's intense green eyes fixated on me, "You need to remain calm. But yes, that is ketchup. I already told you I drink ketchup in place of blood."

The television flickered as I hummed. The taller redhead sat back, crossing his arms across his chest. Kairi looked nervous. "So what can Muses do?" I asked.

Kairi flushed, as if I had ruffled her feathers or something. I took another drink. This would be interesting. "Well, uhm..." she muttered.

"A muse can influence emotions, inspiration, and stronger ones can influence thought. Each muse has a 'talent'. Namine's is art, Kairi here is love songs," Axel said fluidly, as if rehearsed. Kairi flushed and began to panic slightly. "They have a bird like appearance similar to that of the Christian 'angel' but are much more lethal. Unlike Sirens, they have extremely advanced hearing and can detect... or rather 'hear' your inspirations and thoughts with their owl like ear holes."

She clapped her hands over her head, two strangely different spots. "Shush you or I'll start telling him the weird crap you can do."

"Vampires are pretty overrated, but I will tell you this. I don't fucking sparkle." Axel took a sip of Ketchup with in an uncaring gesture of his free hand.

I nodded. "So... you're like an owl..." I barely recognized my own voice. "Owls are predators."

She looked at me with the deepest, most caring gaze yet; blue eyes sparkling like water was trapped in them. "Yes, I eat a diet of mostly meat. High protiens. I can get away with nuts or beans if I wish, but they have no appeal. Before you ask, no I don't throw up food."

Chuckling slightly I sat the beer to the nightstand beside me. Axel made a weird noise, looking back up at the screen and making more weird noises of glee as his team was apparently winning. Kairi pouted. "Anyway, Vampires are not all they seem in books. I'm sure you've noticed he can teleport small distances. The genetic that makes one a vampire is actually very rare, and hard to transfer. Most people that one has tried to turn will die within five years from body evaporation."

"What is that?"

Kairi looked at me sadly this time. "It means your body rejects the vampirism, and the vampire cells eat you alive. You literally disintegrate."

I didn't miss the tense look Axel had, as if uncomfortable by the subject.

"Meaning I'm not going to turn because he bit me."

She shook her head, "Oh of course not. That's impossible. All vampire's prey would be turned if that was the way. It's actually a long, three day process of brutality. Most go mad. Axel here is a rare exception and is actually friendly."

He looked away, strangely pensive towards this topic. A bad experience maybe? I sighed and listened to her explain vampirism. Most drink blood, cliche... most avoid sunlight but its more of like having a bad hangover than allergy, the light bothers their eyes. Glancing outside at the overcast, I noted it was early morning, but Axel had came to my house in broad daylight, evening to be exact.

Glancing at a clock it was time for AA... did I even exist in AA? Would they notice me being gone? Sighing again, I closed my eyes, opening them halfway to fixate on the floor by Axel's feet. "You okay?"

"No. I'm captive in my own home, I found out everything in my life is a lie, oh I gotten bitten by a vampire, and visited by a... muse thing. They keep preaching about my safety and shit but I've yet to see why, and to top it all off, I'm not even human! What a wonderful way to end the story."

An awkward silence settled in across the room, a dense fog of uncertainty accompanying it. "I'm sorry," Namine whispered.

"What for?" Axel muttered. "Not like we're doing this because we _want _to."

My eyes met green for a moment, and I blinked slowly to discover they had wandered in that split second. My neck ached slightly, throbbing. Why didn't it heal with the rest of the wounds? I picked my beer back up and chugged it, getting up and walking back to my room closing the door. I looked at my neatly half made bed, and then a mirror at myself. I looked haggard. I hung my head and grabbed a towel from a drawer. I needed a shower. Maybe I could scrub the gross away from today, the slick, sick feeling oozing into my skin.

I stepped out of my room, dragging the towel's corner on the ground a little as I walked into my bathroom, closing that door and flicking on the lights. It was the same as always, like nothing had happened. Everything was in it's exact place and no further. I turned on the water, letting it run hot before I turned the cold back on. I peeled off the white shirt and boxers, stepping into the shower after setting the towel off to the side. Ducking my head into the spray, closing my eyes, I almost forgot. The rythmic sound of water streaming from above calmed me, and I took deep, long breaths. Opening my eyes, I realized the water was suspending around me, like stars.

Blinking, I took in how beautiful it was. Water was still flowing normally, but some drops up to a certain proximity of my skin, froze in the air. Had it not been today, I would have sworn there was acid in that beer. I reached out and touched a droplet, watching it float around my finger and then away, before leaving the safe zone and falling at normal speed. I sighed deeply and closed my eyes, all the water resuming its speed. This was going to be a normal thing I supposed.

I turned around and let the water caress my back like the touch of angels. It was beautiful. The only semi-normal thing of today was how the suds slid down my skin and the refreshing feeling of 'clean' seeping into my soul. Even after my skin pruned, and my eyes began to sting with the water... I stayed in that spray, staring at the source like it was a God, listening to the patter of the water and my own breath. Outside, I could hear thunder...

* * *

A/N: Derpyderp. :D


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